While our social needs and batteries, of course, differ, humans have an inherent desire to belong somewhere. Community can give us a sense of purpose, and makes us feel like what we do and who we are is bigger than ourselves. I’ve heard before that the brain processes loneliness and physical pain in the same way, something that aligns viscerally with my own experience. It’s a cliche, of course, but I find that nearly all of my happiest memories are when I was with those I love and am loved by unconditionally.
With a mix of fiction and nonfiction, these 8 book recommendations ahead explore the value of community in its many forms. Some are hilarious and sweet, others heartfelt and more serious, and all of them thoughtful in their approach. Read multiple (or all!) of them to gain depth in your understanding of community and how to build ones that lift people up and provide fulfillment.
Once you’ve found new recs to search for at your local library or bookstore, you’ll find further reading from Aurora Lydia Dominguez. In her essay How to Have a Positive Bookish Community, she shares advice for building a welcoming online or in-person space for readers.
TBR lists ready? Let’s get into it!
Karaoke Queen by Dominic Lim
To help his old flame Aaron save his karaoke bar, Rex Araneta agrees to moonlight as his drag queen alter ego Regina Moon Dee. But as Regina’s popularity at the bar grows, Rex struggles to keep his identity a secret without suppressing his desire for unconditional acceptance.
Witty and thoughtful, this rom-com is a love letter to drag communities and how they can help performers embrace their true selves.
Someday, Maybe by Onyi Nwabineli
Eve is left reeling in the aftermath of her husband’s sudden death from suicide. As she grieves, her close-knit Nigerian family and her friends help her find closure. Read this for the profound message on how community can give people strength through their heaviest moments.
Search by Michelle Huneven
Presented as if it were a memoir in recipes, this novel follows restaurant critic Dana Potowski as she reluctantly agrees to join her Universal Unitarian church’s search committee for a new minister. At first, interested in gaining material for her next book, Dana becomes invested in advocating for the candidate she believes will be the best leader for the congregation.
Hope for Cynics by Jamil Zaki
In this thought-provoking book, Stanford psychologist Jamil Zaki challenges the assumption that humanity is inherently selfish. Through the lens of “hopeful skepticism,” Zaki provides a more complex view of human nature with a great capacity for individual and communal altruism if we actively turn toward it.
All Friends Are Necessary by Tomas Moniz
After a family tragedy and the disintegration of his marriage, middle school teacher Chino Flores returns to the Bay Area where he grew up. As he reconnects with old friends, they help him pick up the pieces and find community in unexpected places.
Four Squares by Bobby Finger
Told in dual timelines, this novel follows gay writer Artie Anderson through two defining moments in his life. As a young writer in the 1990s, he builds a chosen family with his partner in New York City’s West Village. Thirty years later, Artie finds himself injured, alone, and reliant on the local LGBTQ senior center to heal in more ways than one.
On Community by Casey Plett
Looking for a more nuanced view of what it means to be part of a community? Essayist Casey Plett explores the complexities of what community encompasses through Mennonite history, alt-right nationalism, transgender art, and more.
Women’s Hotel by Daniel M. Lavery (October 15)
This last recommendation reflects on how location can build a community out of seemingly unconnected individuals. Set around a women’s hotel in 1960s New York City, each chapter explores the interconnected lives of its residents and their desire for belonging despite knowing their time together is limited.
For more books about the value of human connection and how to foster it in your own life, check out The Best LGBTQ-Inclusive Relationship Books.